Exhausted, seeming haunted, I am drifting the paved lino of Seattle's airport, the rain beating heavily against every glass surface, a day so intent on greyness that you can see the colors bleeding into the floors and fleeing the scene.
I left home this morning, very morning, and amidst my yawns the powerful thoughts and mists of such a new departure run strong in my heart, perhaps the only strength that I can conjure between airport bench naps and drooling planes of which I remember nothing.
I am sad to leave home, so soon, and so unfinished. The words do not trumpet complexity, but perhaps I need not always the confusing method when the meaning is simple. I am sad to be here in the States, as always, and I am sad to be traveling again to places like my own, and not a million other locales more vibrant and different. Mostly I am worn out and emptied by the past month. I feel like there is nothing I can do more but offer my deepest apology to everyone for the shambled time we spent together.
I cannot think of a moment I spent with any of my loved friends and family that was not incredible, but rather the lack of time was the cruel insult. I managed to blow off Sarah, Nick, and my Oma in Toronto completely, and for what passed as time spent with everyone seems to brief to be respectful.
The truth is simply that I am a very, very, very tired young man in an airport on a grisly day, and just about everything is too much for me right now. I should write nothing to avoid whining such as this, but I have written so little in the last few weeks I wanted dearly to do something now.
I am in Chicago until Tuesday evening to see my friend Mark, and then to London, towards no matter else, the arms of my beloved.
Sorry for the ranting, I need another bench nap.
Love, and fidelity,
Nicholas
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3 comments:
Nothing looks or sounds quite right as a comment on your visit home to Edmonton. It was fantastic to see you again. It made me happier than I have been in years to be able to play host to Jess* and you for my birthday.
Safe journeys my friend.
Life shines brighter when you're here Nick! No need to apologize for brief visits - they're always better than none!
Late last night (probably while you were heading to the airport)I was reading a 'fluff book' and these words jumped off the page & into my heart.
"Roots and wings, darling: that's what love is" You, my friend have both! The roots of your home in Edmonton & the ability to fly like no one else I know!
Safe journeys!
p.s. thanks for the advice - even if you did give the exact same advice to everyone... :)
Was the rest of the quote Loralee:"'Roots and wings, darling:that's what love is.' Screamed Derek StarLaser, as he gunned his SpaceBike and flipped his sexy hair sexily over his manly face, the solar glare reflecting off his very macho SpaceMoustache."???
Thanks guys, it was a damn pleasure.
n
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